New Year Wishes

 

fotorcrated

Be still and listen.

The power of intention is swirling above your head waiting for you to accept its inspirational guidance into the life specifically designed for you.

Just like that.

Real Magic.

Not the Easter bunny, tooth fairy kind, but the actual magic that we are all capable of creating when we believe.

So my wish for all is this… may the New Year place us in sync with our purpose and at peace with ourselves so that we can create the magic that we were intended to create spreading peace, love and kindness throughout the world.

 

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2015

2015

This is a world where there is no peace. Everyone seems to be (ironic as it sounds) fighting for it, wishing for it and praying for it. Since no one knows who to pray to anymore, I often wonder if the prayers scatter losing their direction and energy.

We stopped believing in everything else so we can believe in ourselves.

We altered the definitions of most moral concepts that we didn’t agree with to accommodate our fickle desires.

This is our world, where everything is normal, accepted and unreliable.

Science is exploding with discoveries, technology is booming by the second and we have become too intelligent and evolved to appreciate the simpler things in life. Everything is made to be more efficient and we still don’t have enough time.

Experts on becoming wealthy are everywhere promising success through online scams and financial education. Yet, there has never been a worse economy.

All this talk about everyone being linked to each other and becoming one with the universe, but we are actually interested only in our individual happiness.

And no one is happy anymore.

No one knows who they are. Everyone is soul searching trying to find themselves through meditation, personality quizzes and specialists who are taking advantage of the opportunity to make millions.

We are trying to fill in the empty spaces.

There was no empty space when I was growing up. Family filled in all those spots.

Family, the kind built on strong foundations and values.

It was cousins, aunts, uncles, pets and the occasional goat.

There were huge feasts and holidays.

There was so much laughter.

Today, families keep getting smaller until they no longer exist.

It makes sense that we feel lonely.

There are not enough people in our lives-

the kind of people who matter.

We expect relationships, hobbies or our careers to fill all the spaces.

They have their own spaces to fill.

Family can not be replaced and it’s quite a big space.

Woman

A woman wants more than anything to be desired.

She wants you to feel her enter the room, then immediately fall in love with her.

She wants to be the only one.

She needs you to touch her, everywhere.

Kiss her all over…

softly brushing your lips…

down her neck…

letting her feel your warm breath…

pouring yourself into her soul…

playfully and passionately.

A woman doesn’t have sex to get laid.

A woman has sex to be loved.

And she knows the difference.

The Dark Side

It isn’t the happy days that you use as a measure of your life’s greatness, but rather the gloomy days that make you see all that is much clearly. The happy state is often a cloudy vision that everything is just fine the way it is, a surreal fog. Only when you are consumed with sadness do you begin to notice the crack in the tile on the kitchen floor or the musty smell behind the closets. You realize that you’re not happy. On a happy day, chances are these things would either be unnoticeable or too small to pay attention to.

So you carry on your sour mood only to experience more of it. You keep it tucked away under your skin and use reminders to hold on to it, like the room that needs painted, the mess of dirty laundry spilling over and the time he called you useless and crazy. It’s an unavoidable misery. You notice that there is no light in the house because it can’t get in. All the windows are facing the wrong way and it’s turning into a cave. You know where the entrance is, but you don’t try to leave. Instead you pick a corner and sulk. Sitting there waiting for nothing to change.

The darkest moments are perhaps the most creative ones. A scary thought that is. The unhappy selfish side that demands it all and wants it without the wait is the one that brings satisfaction in the end.

The crazy, dysfunctional self that I read all those books to correct is actually the one I need to keep me successful. I am daily changing my perception, my mind and my emotions to create a better me. One that is more acceptable and more successful. Yet, the unbalanced one is the one I need to create that person. I need to go there every once in a while in order to understand me. I need to have the circumstances against me pressuring me to come out and create.  I actually want and like that part of me. Instead of fighting it and ignoring it or trying to alter it, I must unite with it.

I need to let it take me where it knows I need to go.

Invisible Bars

Franz kafka

Unable to write is almost like unable to breathe.

As if I am getting some air, but never a full breath.  An emotional monster begins to take over. I become unreasonable, moody and depressed.

Invisible bars are the worst kind. You can not convince anyone that you are jailed, and they’ll never understand if you try.

The bars blend in so well at times that even I am convinced they are not there. I forget they exist and carry on with life. But I can feel them.

Every time I take a step toward myself, every time I remember who I am and every time that I seek my own truths. They appear before me and remind me.

I own them. I put them there. Only I can take them down.

Many people continue living with half breaths. They simply accept the circumstances and compromise everything. It’s easier than going to war.

Too many people settle when everything is possible.

kafka

Me…? Procrastinate…?

Similar to Raymond Chandler, I too believe to be of a neurotic personality type. There is just too much going on in my head and heart.

The two usually don’t see eye to eye. I am extreme in many ways and this quite often leads to unfinished projects that I have lost my excitement over.

You see, I have a need to be passionate about what I do. Once the passion is gone it usually takes my productivity with it.
I imagine myself doing just what Raymond did, keeping myself in my office in front of my computer with two choices, writing or not doing anything else until I write something.

I secretly think I may try it soon.

But then again I do procrastinate a bit.

Welcome!

I have been procrastinating for quite a while now on writing this very first post.

I want it to be just right.

So, I won’t  give you a short biography about myself.

Neither will I try to describe who I am by listing my hobbies or posting photos of my family.

Instead, I’ll give you bits and pieces as they come and let you create your own puzzle.

Thanks for getting on the ride with me,

Elli