Invisible Bars

Franz kafka

Unable to write is almost like unable to breathe.

As if I am getting some air, but never a full breath.  An emotional monster begins to take over. I become unreasonable, moody and depressed.

Invisible bars are the worst kind. You can not convince anyone that you are jailed, and they’ll never understand if you try.

The bars blend in so well at times that even I am convinced they are not there. I forget they exist and carry on with life. But I can feel them.

Every time I take a step toward myself, every time I remember who I am and every time that I seek my own truths. They appear before me and remind me.

I own them. I put them there. Only I can take them down.

Many people continue living with half breaths. They simply accept the circumstances and compromise everything. It’s easier than going to war.

Too many people settle when everything is possible.

kafka

Me…? Procrastinate…?

Similar to Raymond Chandler, I too believe to be of a neurotic personality type. There is just too much going on in my head and heart.

The two usually don’t see eye to eye. I am extreme in many ways and this quite often leads to unfinished projects that I have lost my excitement over.

You see, I have a need to be passionate about what I do. Once the passion is gone it usually takes my productivity with it.
I imagine myself doing just what Raymond did, keeping myself in my office in front of my computer with two choices, writing or not doing anything else until I write something.

I secretly think I may try it soon.

But then again I do procrastinate a bit.

Welcome!

I have been procrastinating for quite a while now on writing this very first post.

I want it to be just right.

So, I won’t  give you a short biography about myself.

Neither will I try to describe who I am by listing my hobbies or posting photos of my family.

Instead, I’ll give you bits and pieces as they come and let you create your own puzzle.

Thanks for getting on the ride with me,

Elli